Hamster wheel


Tom woke up at 5 am. He could not believe that it was 5 am as he never woke up so early before. He was contemplating on life for a while lying in the dark room then he decided to stand up. He opened the curtains and let some light in. He saw the cars parking in front of his house and a fox walking slowly across the street. He felt thirsty so he went to the kitchen for a glass of water then he went back to bed. He wanted to rest more before his big day. He just could not sleep. He had a vision. His boss was standing in front of him. He seemed like a huge giant with sharp teeth and claws. Tom started to sweat thus he stood up again, opened the window to get some fresh air then he opened his laptop and started to check his emails from last week. The more he went through his emails the more he got nervous. He closed his laptop and started to think about the last few years.

`` How did I get here? `` He thought.

He has been working for a company for seven years. He started to work there straight after he finished university and he was very proud of himself at that time. He wanted to have a decent life. He wanted to live in a nice house, eating nice food, drinking the best wines, spending some time with friends and nothing else really. After few years he saw an ad for a higher position within the company so he applied for it. He got promoted to that position thus he felt even more proud than before. Not really happy but proud. He actually never questioned his emotions. He was doing things in life such as working, watching the news, eating, drinking, going to the cinema sometimes, meeting friends for a chat and reading the Times from time to time.

``I am doing great. `` He thought.

Tom was never into metaphysics so when he met Lucy, who started to ask him questions which he never thought of himself, he started to feel shaky. The more he was questioned about his life the more he got anxious. Suddenly he started to ask questions himself and he started to think of life in general.

Thinking was not his strength and due to this reason he started to have headaches. After meeting Lucy he felt that he is not happy with his life although he never questioned his happiness before. He started to have certain emotions on a daily basis. Emotions which never occurred before. Dissatisfaction was his breakfast, sadness was for lunch and anxiety rushed through his body and mind around dinner time. Being with Lucy after a year he started to have problems at his work. He realized that he was doing way more what he should have been doing. He started to complain to his boss. Every day was worse and worse. One day his boss called him for a meeting. From that day he had meetings after meetings. He became tired easily, he was not in a mood for anything, not even watching the news on Sunday which was his habit. He felt that neither his boss nor his company appreciated his hard work. He felt that the whole world had an axe on him. During the meetings people in higher position tried to explain him that he is not right and that he should work harder to achieve better results. He advised his boss to get more associates and even he required an assistant. They refused his requirement. Few weeks later he received an email in which he was called for his final meeting of his case.

It was 7 am when Tom went to the bathroom for that awakening shower which gave him at least some energy to start the day. After the shower he went to the kitchen, drank a glass of cold water, made a coffee, drank the coffee, got his keys and left the house. Tom lived in a suburb. He commuted by train to work. It took him twenty minutes to get into the city then another hour to get to another city, where he took the company bus which took him to the solid grey building within ten minutes. His train arrived on time which was unusual. As he sat down on the train he put his earplug into his ears and turned on the radio on his phone. The minute he heard the first song titled, `just be yourself`, he tried to remember his father.

`` Nothing is more important in life than being yourself son! `` He used to tell him.

The more he thought of his father the more he missed him. He thought that it would be great if he was there with him during this final meeting. Then suddenly he felt pity for himself. He felt like a victim. He thought about his age and he thought of Lucy who started to change his life. He loved her but it annoyed him that she stir the water in his warm and comfortable little pond. More she poured a bucket of ice water so the pond became so cold that he had to come out of it.

The train arrived at its usual station, Tom walked to the same old bus stop just like he did almost every day in the last seven years. When the bus arrived Tom heard a little voice in his ears.

``Matrix. `` Said the voice.

He thought that he was hallucinating although he immediately thought about the film titled Matrix. The bus arrived exactly within ten minutes to the big building. Before Tom got off the bus he got a glimpse of the people marching towards the building then he heard the voice again.

``Matrix. `` Repeated the voice.

Tom entered the building, took the elevator to the third floor, entered the office where he greeted his colleagues, sat down to his desk and he felt hungry for breakfast which was dissatisfaction. He was working on few projects on his computer then he checked his emails and he replied to most of them. He went to the toilet where he heard two of his fellow workers talking.

`` I saw Matrix yesterday. It was brilliant. `` Said one man to another.

``I have seen it already. The system eats us if we don`t wake up from our deep sleep. That was the message for me and now I need to rush for my meeting. `` Said the other man. Then he left.

Tom went back to his desk, he sat down and he thought of Lucy who was always talking about the signs to him. He did not really understand this before but now that he had a voice in his ear and then after the chat in the toilet he started to get Lucy`s message.

It was 11 am when Tom received a phone call for his meeting. He stood up from his chair. Went to the water tank, drank a glass of water then took the elevator and went to the 5th floor. When he entered the meeting room four people were already sitting there waiting for him. Tom sat down and listened. One of the manager started to talk about the last meetings and about the topics they discussed before. He asked Tom if he had anything to add to the previously mentioned suggestions. Tom repeated that he needs an assistant and more associates and he added that he has been working for this company for seven years with a great progress on his work. He also said that he got promoted for a reason and that he did work overtime in several occasions just to achieve certain tasks in the office. The man who was talking previously was silent at this time. Another man, who was wearing a grey suit and a red tie, started to talk.

`` Tom! We came to a conclusion. We put you in another department with the same position. You will do exactly the same work as you did before just with another team. You start next week. You will receive an email with the details. `` Said the man in a grey suit.

Tom sat there silently. Suddenly remembered his vision from morning. The giant boss with sharp teeth and giant claws. He had a new vision. He saw his boss as a little child who was frightened and scared because his father expected him to be excellent and he was not even having good grades at school. He then had another vision. He saw himself at the age of sixteen drawing a beautiful woman from a magazine. He also saw himself at the age of 10 playing `being a pilot` with his brother. He loved that game. He always wanted to be a pilot.           

Another manager who was wearing a black suit started to talk.

`` We will replace you with a new French lady who will show that it is possible to achieve our company goals without an assistant and without extra associates. Thanks for your time and good luck with the new team! ``

Said the man in a black suit. Then he stood up with the rest of the managers and they left the room.

Tom could not describe his emotion but he felt a pressure in his stomach and when he wanted to stand up he could not. His body felt heavy. He again thought of Lucy. He stood up slowly, left the room, took the elevator, went down to the ground floor, went out from the building and lit a cigarette. He called Lucy on the phone.

`` Hi Lucy, do you have a minute? `` He asked.

``Of course I do, what happened? ``Asked Lucy.

Tom told Lucy what had happened during the meeting.

`` What do you think Lucy? `` He asked.

`` It is time to leave your job. `` She replied.

`` You are right. Thanks for your support Lucy! `` Tom answered.

`` No problem Tom! See you later. `` Said Lucy then she hung up.

Tom finished his cigarette then went back to the office. He checked his emails then he checked the time. It was 12.30. He went on his lunch break. He had a sandwich for lunch instead of sadness. He drank a glass of water then he went back to his desk. He got another few emails and one of his team member asked him for a short meeting. He had the meeting with a colleague named Jack. Jack was 50 year old and he had two children. He asked Tom if he could stay out of work for few days as his son was sick. Tom told Jack that he was sorry for his son and that he could take a week off. He wished Jack all the best then they both went back to their desk.

Tom pictured himself at the age of fifty. He saw himself sitting in his own office managing work within few hours. He pictured few people working for him whom he respected. He also saw himself with his wife and his daughter having family dinner together.

By the time he finished his last project for that day it was 6pm. He left the building, went to the bus stop, then to the train station, then to the other train station, then home. When he arrived home, he took off his coat, washed his hand and cooked pork for dinner instead of anxiety. Lucy arrived at 8pm. They kissed each other then they had dinner together. After dinner Tom told Lucy that he had to manage some business. He sat down, opened his computer and wrote an email to his boss. He thanked the seven years and gave his one month leaving notice. Then he went to Lucy, hugged her and they went to sleep.

Four Seasons needed for a marriage

It was the middle of August when I met him. The Sun was smiling to me on most days of that month. I don`t really like autumn, but I do appreciate the God given nature. When the leaves are starting to fall down from the trees and they are dancing waltz with the wind until they hit the ground.
I was sad at that time as I just came out of a two years relationship. I was looking for a room to live. I had no intention to meet anyone, not at all. I decided that I will be alone and I will concentrate on my goals. 
He opened the door with a serious expression on his face. 
`` Hi, I am Alex. `` 
`` Hi, It`s Lucy. ``
`` The room is upstairs. ``
`` Thanks. ``
I went upstairs to see the room first, then I went downstairs to get some information about the internet, electricity and the cost of bills. I really liked the house although my emotional state was shaky thus I could not really enjoy the visit, however I clearly remember that I loved the big open space. The living room was combined with the dining room. The kitchen was built separately and it was just perfect. My room was really small thus it`s price was reasonable. I remember that as I was talking to him I had this calm feeling hence my emotional state. He spoke slowly and his voice was like the most beautiful music to my ears.
When you find someone attractive you know it immediately. This was not the case at that time. I just had this strange feeling inside. I felt that everything will be just all right.
I said that I would take the room and he said that I had to pay the deposit. I went home. I still lived with my partner who was not my partner anymore although
when he heard that I was moving he started to act differently of course. He bought me flowers, he talked to me in a really nice manner. I found that interesting when some people feel that they can lose what they have suddenly they appreciate that more weather it`s a person or anything else.
That same night I got a text message from him. He asked me when I would pay the deposit. I was a bit surprised as I told him that I would take the room so I didn`t really understand the hurry. I answered him that I still had time until the end of August. The next day I received another text message from him with an invitation for a walk. 
I told him that instead of walking we could just have a glass of red wine and chat a bit at his house. He agreed so few days later we met at 7 pm at his house. We sat in the back garden with two glasses of cabernet sauvignon and we had a long conversation about food, families, and about life in general. It was a really pleasant evening. That night I slept in my new room. The next few days we sent text messages, flirty ones. I was confused but excited.
I moved in few weeks later and as we got to know each other we realized that we had a lot in common. We both loved red wine, French cuisine and gourmet food. We both had a great interest in theatre and art and the top of the cake was when he told me that he had six siblings. I told him that I also had six siblings. 
As the days passed we got a bit scared of this sudden encounter of our souls so we agreed that we slow down. We could not. By the end of September he asked me if I would visit his family. I was really afraid to get involved in families after two months therefore I decided to postpone his request. I went home to Hungary to visit my family in the beginning of October and when I came back after a week holiday I was surprised and impressed by his behavior. He was so happy for me. He said that it felt like I was away for a month. Two weeks later he went to Belgium for his birthday. Some of his relatives lived there. Before he left I asked him if he would meet me in Brussels for a weekend during his holiday. He said yes.
That weekend in the capital city of Belgium was like icing on a cake. It was sweet, rich and unforgettable.
Autumn is not one of my favorite season but as the weather was neither too hot nor too cold we really enjoyed our time. We visited many interesting venues leaving out the typical tourist attractions due to my request. I never liked typical tourist attractions although I have to admit that there are many wonderful buildings and monuments in the world however I always felt that what locals do and where locals go are way more interesting than travelling by a list of ``must see`` attractions. In this way I really get to know the actual place and customs.
He took me to a local market where his friend had a stand with local food and wine. We were just walking around the city when he had an idea.
`` I would love to take you to a place but I warn you it is a bit tough. Do not be afraid just hold my hand. `` He said.
`` What do you mean by saying do not be afraid? `` I asked.
`` It is a place called Brussels` Matonge quarter. It is full of African shops and restaurants. I am not saying that it`s not safe but it is vibrant and it can be shocking at first. `` He replied.
It started to rain when we arrived to the Matonge quarter. I held his hand and tried not to panic. We just went through a long street full of African people and he was right, it was vibrant and somewhat scary. When we arrived to the end of the street, a completely different picture awaited us. There was a road junction with a lovely café at the corner. We sat outside on the terrace and drank a Belgian beer just to calm down after the sudden shock of the famous Matonge quarter. 
The next day our romantic journey ended at least in Belgium. Back to normal life, routine was not my wish but a continuous paradise is not ideal to fully appreciate life. Time was passing by so fast that it ``hit`` me when the weather started to get really chilly. I could feel winter was coming. I felt we just came back from Brussels few days ago.
One night he was hanging his clothes when he asked me 
`` What are you doing at Christmas? ``
`` Well I suppose I am going to visit my family as you will visit yours. `` I replied.
`` Oh no, I would love you to come with me. `` He said.
I suddenly realized that when you do not want things or at least you do not push them, they are just coming to you so easily that your mind is asking itself  
``why on earth do we force things at all when they can just walk towards us on two legs and they can welcome us with a big smile? ``
`` Hmm don`t you think that is a bit early? `` I questioned even myself.
``No, I would be very happy if you spent Christmas with my family. `` He answered with a smile.
It was heavy snow when we arrived to Switzerland. Two of his sisters lived there. One of his sister greeted us at the airport of Geneva then we travelled to the most beautiful ski paradise I have ever seen.
I remembered that I was in another ski resort in Switzerland few years ago. I was there for an interview. I clearly remembered a sentence from back then. I was talking to the girl who was due to leave the job I applied for. She said that it was a nightmare as she could not even go for a walk alone as her boss was always calling her. 
`` I could not live like this and work like this. `` I said.
`` You are right! `` She answered.
`` I can imagine to come here for a holiday with my boyfriend, enjoy the snow and be free and happy! `` I stated and the universe answered a bit later but it did. 
That sentence hit me so clearly. I just thanked God for this present.
His family was really unique. They were very warm people, they loved me however I felt a little bit of pressure sometimes. We had to do mainly what the family planned. We had to visit different cities and we went to a restaurant for a
family dinner with other family friends.  These were nice occasions but due to my language barrier I could not fully enjoy it. After few days I asked him to go for a walk just the two of us. 
One night after dinner we took two bobs, we closed down a side road with a warning sign so that people could not drive up. The road was extremely steep. We slid down like little children who never done this before. We felt great. We felt alive. 
I always had this idea that we should never forget to be children inside with an adult responsibility of course. I told him that I admired him for his playful character which I truly did. 
We tried ice skating although neither I had any experience nor he. We enjoyed every day when we were just the two of us. One day we took his nephew to a city near to the Lake of Geneva. The view was breathtaking. The weather was different in every city. It was winter but the snow was appearing or disappearing depending on his mood. I met Santa and his reindeers in the mountains. They gave me a little pack of chocolates and other nice things. I did not know that it was a typical Swiss way of Christmas. We spent the last few days of our holidays including New Year Eve in another village of Switzerland. His other sister lived there with her husband and with their two adorable children.
The next day my mother called me to ask how our holiday was. I told her that it was interesting. She asked me if I felt that this time in Switzerland was strengthening our relationship or not. I said I did not know. She replied saying that minimum four seasons needed for a marriage. I have never heard this before thus I asked her what she meant by saying that. Then she explained that couples go through different situations and ``surviving`` four seasons would definitely make the relationship stronger. Which means that they are kind of ready for a marriage. I found that way of thinking very interesting.
We came back from Switzerland on the 5th of January. We felt awful to arrive back to reality however after few weeks we accustomed to our old routine. Time went by so fast that we did not realize that it was already March when we started to
plan our spring holiday. We travelled to Belgium for a week as he wanted to show me the south part of the country. This was another unique time with some sport activities. We cycled for one day visiting 4 different Belgian villages. By this time we already had some secret couple`s language code in between us which I found very romantic.
We haven`t even come back from that holiday when we planned another one for July. That was the time when I suddenly acknowledged that we have a lot in common. 
It was May when I had my first sunbathing on our terrace. As I was contemplating on life the Sun whispered to my ear that I had to wait just another two months to experience a beautiful summer time with my partner. Then I thought maybe my mother was right. 
``Maybe four seasons really needed for a marriage. ``      

God in 1956 

The revolt began as a student demonstration which attracted thousands as it marched through central Budapest to the Parliament building called out on the streets via Radio Free Europe and a van with loudspeakers on the roof. A student delegation entering the radio building in an attempt to broadcast its demands was detained. When the delegation`s release was demanded by the demonstrators outside, they were fired upon by the State Security Police (ÁVH) from within the building. The news spread quickly and disorder and violence erupted throughout the capital.

It was the 23d of October 1956 when she heard the first shots. Gaby was a 9 years old Hungarian girl living near to the Kossuth Square in Budapest (The capital city of Hungary). She was a nervous girl who was afraid of everything. She was sitting on their red sofa in the hall. Her mother, Emilia was sitting next to her and tried to make her calm explaining that the Hungarian Revolution had just started. This was the time when students and workers took the streets of Budapest and issued their Sixteen Points which included personal freedom, more food, the removal of the secret police and the removal of the Russian control. 
Emilia also told her daughter that there was nothing to be afraid of as God was always there to protect their children. Gaby just hugged her mum so strong that she could hardly breathe.

``Gaby my dear, where is your trust in God? `` She said. ``Mother I am really afraid; it is so loud out there. `` She replied.

Gaby grew up in a religious family, her parents went to church every Sunday and they prayed before and after each meal. 

``Are you hungry my child? `` Emilia asked. 

Emilia was 39 years old and she was very beautiful. She had long blond hair, but she always wore her hair in a bun. Her husband was a very strict man with expectations. He never wanted that his wife would be wild in any way.

``Those women with their hair down think that they can do anything, but they do not respect their husband. `` He used to say when they saw a woman without a bun.

``Are you hungry Gaby? `` She asked her again. 

``No mother, thank you but my stomach is a size of a peanut.

`` She answered the she added ``Mother! When will the revolution finish? `` 

``Well darling, we cannot be sure when, however we can ask God in our prayer that we would like him to help us to survive these days. ``  Answered her mother and she kissed her daughter.

Emilia was a really calm woman; she was never worried, but that day she prayed longer than usual. Gaby`s father, Lajos was a hairdresser so as her mother. They owned a barber shop near to the Parliament building. They were not poor neither wealthy. During weekdays they ate potatoes and bread with a type of Hungarian ham called szalonna. On Sundays they had chicken with rice or potatoes and salad on the side. Every Sunday Emilia was baking a cake so they could celebrate that it was Sunday and they thanked God that the week was over.

``When will dad come home? `` Asked Gaby then she looked out through the window. 

``He should be home by now, but I am sure he is taking another road to avoid the crowd. `` Replied her mother, then she went to the kitchen to boil some water. She started to worry herself so she said another prayer and asked God to bring her husband home safe. It was 7 pm. Gaby went to the kitchen and sat down. She loved watching her mother while she was cooking or baking.

``Would you like to help me? `` She asked Gaby. 

``Yes Mother, what can I do? `` She replied. 

`` You can peel the potatoes. ``  Said her mother and gave a peeler to Gaby.

The water was just boiling when the phone rang. Gaby`s mother turned off the hob and picked the phone up. It was her sister. She asked Emilia if they heard the news in the radio. Emilia said that they did not listen to the radio as she did not want Gaby to listen to anything regarding to the revolution. It was enough for them to listen to the shots. Her sister asked if she could come over with her son as they would be safer together. Gaby`s mother said that they could come and pray together, but they have to stay calm and trust God. Gaby`s father was still not home when the clock struck 8. The phone rang again. It was her husband saying that he had to stay in the shop as the streets were full of soldiers and he might stay there for the night. She thanked God that he is alive and went back to the kitchen. Meanwhile Gaby cooked the potatoes and served into three plates with butter on the side. 

``Let`s eat! Your father is late. `` She said. 

``Is he safe mother? `` Gaby asked with a fear in her voice. 

``He is safe my darling do not worry! `` She replied then they started to pray.

They just finished their dinner when the phone rang again. It was Emilia`s sister. She just said that she could not come as they heard from their neighbour that it was not safe to leave their house. Emilia and her daughter washed the dishes together, they prayed again then they went to bed. The next day Emilia`s husband woke up at around 7 am and he thought that it was better to stay in the shop as he was afraid to move anywhere. During the night he did not sleep well because of the combination of the shots and fear. He was happy that they bought a fridge in the previous year and they always kept a bit of a cold food there. He was hungry and he also felt something else in his stomach. He had sausage and bread then he drank a cup of tea. He has never spent a day separate from his wife since their wedding day thus he felt really strange.

Emilia and Gaby were up at 7 am. Emilia was reading her bible and Gaby was thinking. She loved reading in the morning but she also loved thinking or contemplating about lots of different things. Once she was looking out the window
for half an hour when her mother asked her what she was looking at. She said that she was just staring at the leaves of the trees. Emilia was worried sometimes that her daughter was not studying well and she was so sensitive. One day she said that she was leaving school because she did not find any friends there. She loved talking to the teachers rather than talking to the students. Other times she wanted take all the dogs to home from the streets to care for them. Emilia just finished reading the bible when her husband called her just to say that he is alive and that he is going to stay in their shop until he gets some news. 

By noon on the 24th of October, Soviet tanks were stationed outside the Parliament building and Soviet soldiers guarded key bridges and crossroads. Armed revolutionaries quickly set up barricades to defend Budapest and were reported to have already captured some Soviet tanks by mid-morning. 

Lajos was carefully looking out the window and he could not believe what he saw with his own eyes. Soldiers were everywhere and the size of the tanks made him very nervous. He thought for a second that he could escape somewhere but the shop did not have an attic neither a cellar. He did not know about it anyway. He called Emilia again to ask her if she heard any news about the uprising. Emilia told him that she did not listen to the news then she added that Lajos could turn on the radio in the shop. He completely forgot about the radio. He might have been in a different world, because of the circumstances. He did turn on the radio and listened to it. In the radio they were talking about the Russian control including censorship, the vicious secret police (called AVH after 1948) and Russian control of what the schools taught. The government asked the Hungarian Nation to fight until death.

The first thing what came into Lajos` mind was that he did not have a gun.  How could he fight? With a fork or with a knife? He pictured himself fighting with a fork against a Russian soldier, then he started to laugh. He thanked God that he still had some humour even if this was really not a funny situation. Meanwhile Gaby and her mother had their morning prayer then they were having breakfast. After breakfast Gaby washed the dishes then they both sat down on the red sofa in the hall. 

``Mother, is it possible that we are going to die? `` Asked Gaby.

``Gaby, my dearest child, please do not say that although everything is possible, however we must talk to God all the time. If you are really afraid of death then ask God to help us to stay together safe. ``

  ``Mother, if there is God why does he let this happen? I do not understand! `` Asked Gaby then suddenly she felt a little anger in her stomach. 

``Well, well that is a good question daughter, but you should trust no matter what and God knows everything. I am sure he has a reason for this awful situation and we are going to know that when this will end. ``

Emilia finished the conversation and she stood up to phone her sister. The moment she stood up from the red couch, someone shot at their double glazed window, right through that strong glass towards Emilia. She must have been really lucky or she was really a child of Jesus, because the bullet just flew over her shoulder right into the beautiful creation of Adam oil painting by Michelangelo. 
This was one of their favourite painting. Lajos loved talking about it on Sunday evenings when the three of them were sitting together in the hall with a nice cup of tea. They all loved art. Gaby did not understand everything about paintings or sculptures, however se just loved looking at them for so long observing all the little details. She always asked her dad to go to any museum and Lajos happily took his daughter with him whenever he had time for it. 
Emilia just stood there immovably. Gaby started to cry.

``Do not cry my daughter, just calm down and please lie under the bed! Now! `` 

Said Emilia with a calm voice although she was shaking inside. After that, she took
the phone and she went down on her knees. She called Lajos to tell him what happened and she asked him if he was all right. 

``I am still here and I do not think that I am able to go home my love. `` Said Lajos. 

``What did they say in the radio, Sir? `` Asked Emilia. 

`` In the radio they asked people to fight until death. This is a chaos my love so all we can do is to pray and hope. ``  Said Lajos then they started to pray in the phone.

Before they finished their conversation, Lajos told Emilia to leave the flat and go into the cellar or just lie down all of the time. Emilia refused to leave their home as she wanted to stay close to the phone because of her husband. Then they had hang up. 
It was 10 am. The shots were louder and louder. Lajos called one of his friend to ask if it was safe to go home or not. His friend told him to stay in the shop and try to make a way to the cellar or even to make a cellar, if there is none, to hide. He also told Lajos about the news from yesterday.

``Did you not hear it, my friend? Yesterday evening the 18 meter high statue of Joseph Stalin was toppled, dragged to the National Theatre and there, it was broken to small pieces. Afterwards the place, where the statue had been standing, has been jokingly referred to as “Boots Square”, since the only things that remained of Stalin`s statue were his boots. `` 

`` Oh my dear God! `` Said Lajos and he really wished to be at home with his love.  ``My friend, I say this is going to be just worst, but we have to have hope. ``  ``God be with us! `` Said Lajos then they had hang up.

He went to look for a tool to make a cellar. While he was looking for an implement he thought that it would be better if he went to the streets to fight, then perhaps he would have less fear. All he found were some utensils and when he started to stretch the floor with a knife, he realised that even his strong trust in God will not help him to dig a cellar. As he was contemplating someone was knocking on his door. He got really scared thus first he went to the window to look who was that. Fortunately he saw a person, who did not wear nor any Russian uniform neither any other uniform so he opened the door. The young man rushed into the shop and Lajos quickly closed the door.

``Thank You gentleman, thank you! `` Said the stranger then he carried on. ``You do not want to be out there, they think they can fight them, but the Russians have weapons and tanks! I tried to go home to my wife and children, when I heard a shot so close that for a second I thought I got shot. Then I started to run and just at this corner I saw a Russian soldier shouting at a Hungarian young man and at the same time, thank God, I saw a sign for your shop, so I tried to come in.`` 

``You did it right sir! Would you like to have a cup of tea or a piece of bread with sausage? `` Asked Lajos. 

``How can you think of eating? No thank you sir, I am not able to swallow anything in these circumstances. `` Said the stranger. 

``What is your name young man? `` Asked Lajos and he cut a piece of bread and few slices of nice Hungarian sausage for the man. 

``My name is Bela Siklosi. `` 

``Now Mr.Siklosi, please sit down and eat some food. `` Said Lajos and he drank some water.

``What are we going to do now? `` Asked Bela. 

``Well, maybe the two of us can dig a cellar here with a knife and a fork? `` Said Lajos and he laughed again as he was too tired to be serious. 

``I beg your pardon sir? `` Answered Mr. Siklosi, who was really shocked by Lajos` humorous behaviour.

``Listen to me son! I do not know the best solution. I have already called my dear friend to ask him what to do and he told me that I should stay here as it is safer here than outside. ``

``Your friend might be right. ``Said Bela. 

Lajos saw that Bela was even more nervous and afraid than himself thus he kept asking him questions. He learnt that in the barber shop. While he was cutting and dying his customer`s hairs he had to listen to their so called problems. One day he was cutting Maria`s hair. Maria was a quite annoying lady with her stories about her cat. She was telling Lajos about the cat food, how expensive was that etc. When Lajos suddenly asked her what her favourite film was. Maria was so disturbed in her story that she started to answer the question. After that Lajos was always using this technique.   The two men were so into their chatting that they did not even realise the time. It was already 3 pm when Lajos called Emilia again.

``How are you my dear love? `` Asked Lajos. 

``I am well so far, thank God and what is the situation over there, sir? `` 

``Well, God sent me young man to keep my company and also to take my fear away. ``

``That is just great sir! `` Replied Emilia, who still had trust in God regarding to everything.

``Listen to me my dear Emilia! If anything would happen to us I let you know that I love you so much that I cannot even tell and if I went back in time, I would choose you over and over again! `` Said Lajos and few tears appeared in his eyes.

  ``Thank you sir! That is more than a compliment and I hope to see you soon! `` 

Then they had hang up. Lajos and Bela continued talking about religion, but Lajos excused himself as he had to go to the toilet. When he closed the door behind himself he heard two shots. He was too afraid to even move. He was thinking for a while then he decided to stay where he was and started to pray deeply from his heart. He was talking to God for a while then he slowly opened the door and came out into the room where they were sitting before. He saw Bela on the floor, still breathing, but with two bullets in his arm and neck. He quickly called the ambulance. The ambulance arrived within 5 minutes as they were all over Kossuth Square. They put Bela in the car and they asked Lajos if he wanted to go with them as it was really safe in the hospital, there were many people hiding there. Lajos nodded and tears came into his eyes again.  
Few hours later he called Emilia from the hospital and asked her to pack the most necessary things for a long journey.

One week later on the way to the USA Gaby, Emilia and Lajos were continuously praying and thanking God for his help.

Crash or Not?


I was sitting on a plane, one of my sister out of the six, was sitting next to me. I did not understand why she was there when I have not talked to her for almost three years. She was not talking to me and I was not talking to her during our flight. We sat silently next to each other. I was looking around in the passenger cabin thinking that I might recognize someone, but I did not.

Suddenly the plane started to dive. I remembered that has happened before. I had a strange feeling. No fear, definitely not. It was a feeling of confusion and uncertainty. I was looking around again just to see the faces of the people around me, the reactions. Every face seemed calm, content, no sign of worry at all. I looked at my sister, who was just peaceful and quiet. Her eyes were fixed on something in front of her. I looked into the same direction, but there was nothing there, not even a special flight magazine.

I felt that the plane was still falling, however, and this was the strangest thing, I was relaxed.

I still did not understand what was happening. Why are we falling? Why everybody is so quiet and at ease? If we are falling, but I am so calm inside, does this mean that we are not going to crash?

The questions were starting to pop up in my head, like bubbles when we blow them. One after another. I asked myself where I was flying to. Why my sister was there, but we had not talk to each other for years? When we were going to land?

Suddenly I had this strong statement in my head that we were not going die and I knew that we were going to land. It came as a sure insight, however I felt dizzy. I remember holding my safety belt around me so strong just to be sure that I stayed at my seat. Then I woke up before I would have known that we crashed or not.

This was the third dream in the last few weeks with the same situation, plane falling, knowing that I am going to survive hence feeling disturbed.

I lit a candle, started to meditate and silently ask God to tell me the reason for these vivid dreams. I had many dreams before, mainly strange, vivid, interesting dreams, never really just pleasant like walking in the forest and listening to the sound of nature, or hugging someone, making love and other pinky actions. I call them pinky after the pink cloud in a relationship when we feel just so great that everything is amazing and nothing really matters just being in the moment in the feeling of pure love.

Few days after I started to work on few areas in my life. I interpreted the dream. Falling equals not being stable completely or it means something is out of alignment in someone`s life. After the interpretation of my dream I decided to take another writing course and improve my God given talent. I was searching on the web and I have found a course led by the tutor who was my previous tutor in my previous writing course. I took it as a sign and applied for the course.

Dreams can be guidance.


                                              Frank and the parking

He parked his car on Henry Street which was only 15 minutes away from the main street where all the fancy shops offered their new selection of clothes, shoes and accessories. He locked his car walked to the parking machine when he realized that he had no coins in his purse nor any banknotes. He paused for a second and looked up to check the sign about the parking time. He knew it was Friday thus he had to pay for parking. He checked his purse again he saw his credit card then he thought 

`` I take the chance risk and give myself 15 minutes to find an ATM get money change it to coins at the nearest shop come back and pay for parking. `` 

He has never been to Dun Laoghaire before, but he had a strong belief that he could solve any problems. He was a strong willed man. He always had his faith in everything. He was positive and he loved self-positive talk.

`` I can do it! `` He told himself all the time.

He ran to the main street where he was looking for the bank machine. He found one, but that did not work. He saw a bank on the other side of the road so he went in even though that was a different branch from his credit card. When he stepped into the bank he saw the queue and he thought

`` How will I manage the time to get back and win this situation? ``

There was a tall man in front of him in the queue, who seemed to be nervous as he was checking the time on his watch every second. Frank asked him

`` Do you know any other bank around? ``  The tall man turned back and said 

`` I do not know man, I am not familiar with this area maybe ask the bank manager! `` 

Frank thanked him and left the bank. He started to feel hungry and angry.  He used to read about time management and he was always so proud himself that he could manage his time very well. That day he felt awful. He did not see the situation from outside. He started to stress himself out. 

`` I have to find a bank fast! `` He thought.

Suddenly he saw a sign of Bank of Ireland. He got all excited, he started to run and as he ran, he did not see an old lady with shopping bags walking in front of him. He bumped into the lady and all the bags fell on to the floor. Frank saw the bags and started to laugh. He apologized from the lady, helped her to put everything back to the bags and walked towards the bank. He managed to get some bank notes then he went to a store to change the notes into coins. He walked back to his car and when he arrived he saw a note on his car window screen as he anticipated it. He started to laugh again and he was laughing for two minutes about the whole situation.

He drove to his new house, went in, sat down, opened his laptop and started to search for a website where he could complain about parking situations. He wrote a long email to the company which dealt with parking tickets. He wrote down that he did not know that parking machines do not accept credit cards and that he has never been to Dun Laoghaire before. He mentioned that he did not know the area that well so he could not find a bank so fast therefore he could not take money out and change it into coins. He inquired the company to cancel the 40 Euros fine and he suggested to change the parking machines to new ones which accept credit cards. After two days he received an answer that he has to wait for a while as the company needed time to make a decision on this case. He was happy as he truly believed that he will get a positive result on this and that he saved 40 Euros.

After a week he started to get worry and he was checking his letter box every day. Another week passed when he came home from work and saw an envelope with the name of the parking company on it. He drank his afternoon coffee then he kept the envelope in his hand and started to pray for a while. It was 6 pm when his girlfriend came home. She gave him a kiss on his lips and asked how his day was. He replied with a smile and said 

`` Well I hope I saved 40 Euros today! `` 

She did not understand the meaning of the sentence so she asked why he would save 40 Euros. He asked her if she did remember the parking story from few weeks ago. She replied that she did remember and she started to smile. He asked her why she was smiling. She stroke her head, she sat down next to him and said 

`` Look darling, I truly love you, but I think you are a little bit funny that you give a huge attention to a story like this and you know what I think about the whole situation. ``

 `` What do you think? `` He asked her with an anticipation of her answer. 

`` You do not know what do I think, do you? `` She asked. 

`` I know, hence I want to hear it again! `` He replied. 

She stood up, put the kettle on and she was not sure whether she wanted to start a fight or not, she had a hard day at work. She was working with children thus she became tired mentally. She took a deep breath and said 

`` Frank, if you park your car, you do have coins with you, everybody does and if they do not, they manage to have coins with them before parking. People have change all the time. Some people even collect coins for parking. I think we take responsibility for our actions, if we do not then we are childish. That is what I think and I love you! `` She added.

`` The kettle is ready, your water is ready for your tea. `` Frank replied and he added

`` I had hope that I save 40 Euros and so I can have a good day. `` 

She made her tea then she went to the garden and lit her cigarette. She thought she should leave him. They had conversations like this so many times during the three years and she always thought she can get used to his strange habits. She was not even sure if she loved him anymore. It was not just his mentality about the money and saving every cent but also he had no friends but his computer. She finished her cigarette, opened the garden door, stepped into the kitchen and she saw Frank with the open envelope starring at the floor. 

`` Are you ok? `` She asked him. 

`` No, I am not ok, they refused my request thus I have to pay 40 Euros fine, but it is ok. I will go to work by bike for a week so I will have my 40 Euros back! ``  He replied with a happy face. 

`` Great! `` She answered then she added

`` I have a great idea! You could sell your car then you save 1000 Euros or sell the house and save 200.000 Euros. ``

Then she started to laugh out loud. That day they slept in a different room.